What if the dream you are looking for is already within you?
In my previous reflection, Why Having a Dream Is Not Enough, I suggested that a dream is only the beginning. A dream has to move beyond desire. It needs to be thought about, planned, acted upon and ultimately translated into achievement.
But there is an important question that comes before all of that: What is your dream?
For some people, the answer seems obvious. They have always known what they wanted to become, what they wanted to create or the difference they wanted to make.
For many others, it is not so simple.
They know they want something more from life, but they cannot quite describe what that ‘more’ is. They may have ambitions, interests and abilities, but no clear sense of direction. They may even have achieved things that others consider impressive and yet still feel that something is missing.
Perhaps the issue is not that they have no dream. Perhaps they have not yet discovered it.
The dream may be deeper than the goal
We often use the words dream and goal as though they mean the same thing. They do not!
A goal may be something you decide to accomplish; say a qualification, a promotion, a business, a house, a financial target or a position of responsibility.
A dream, however, can be deeper. It can be connected to the person you want to become, the contribution you want to make and the difference you want your life to make. This is why discovering your dream can require more than asking yourself, ‘What do I want?’
It may require asking: Why do I want it?
And then asking again. And again.
The answers can take you somewhere much deeper. You may discover that what you thought was your dream was really only a means to something else.
Someone may say, ‘I want to become a successful business owner.’
- Why?
- ‘To make money.’
- Why?
- ‘To have financial freedom.’
- Why?
- ‘So that I can provide opportunities for my family and create opportunities for other people.’
Now the conversation is becoming different. The business may be the vehicle. The deeper dream may be about freedom, contribution, creation or enabling others. Understanding that distinction matters, because when circumstances change, the vehicle may need to change without the dream changing.
Purpose gives the dream a deeper meaning
This is where purpose becomes important. Purpose is not necessarily a grand statement that you have to discover in one dramatic moment. It can emerge gradually as you understand yourself, your experiences, your abilities, your values and the contribution you feel drawn to make.
Sometimes life gives us clues…
- What problems do you naturally want to solve?
- What subjects can hold your attention for hours?
- What activities make you feel most alive?
- What are you good at that you may have taken for granted?
- What experiences have shaped you?
- What injustices or challenges disturb you deeply enough to make you want to do something about them?
- What do people consistently come to you for?
- What would you still care about if nobody applauded you for it?
These questions do not produce a ready-made answer overnight, but they can begin a process of discovery. And discovery is important because you cannot deliberately pursue what you have not yet recognised.
Sometimes other people define our dreams for us
There is another complication. Many people spend years pursuing dreams that are not really theirs!
A young person may study a particular subject because that is what the family expects. Someone may pursue a particular profession because society considers it prestigious. Another person may define success by the possessions, income or status they see around them.
There is nothing wrong with any of these things in themselves. The problem comes when we pursue them without ever asking whether they align with who we are and what we genuinely want our lives to represent.
We can become very successful at living somebody else’s definition of success. And that can be a remarkably expensive achievement.
The question is not whether you should listen to the people around you. We all benefit from advice, experience and wisdom. The question is whether, after listening to everyone else, you have also listened to yourself.
Your abilities may contain clues
One of the ways of discovering your dream is to pay attention to your abilities. There are things you may find relatively easy that others struggle with. Perhaps you can explain complicated ideas simply. Or you are naturally good at bringing people together. Or better still, do you see possibilities where others see problems. Perhaps you enjoy creating, building, analysing, teaching, organising, negotiating, caring or leading.
Sometimes we dismiss these abilities because they come naturally to us. But what feels ordinary to you may be extraordinary to someone else.
Your ability is not automatically your purpose. Being good at something does not mean you are required to spend your life doing it. But your abilities can provide clues. They can point towards areas where your contribution may be particularly valuable.
And when ability meets genuine desire and meaningful contribution, something powerful can happen. You begin to move towards work that feels less like merely earning a living and more like expressing something that matters.
The experiences of your life may also contain clues
Your dream may not come from a single moment of inspiration. It may have been developing through your experiences all along. The difficulty you experienced may have created empathy for others facing the same challenge.
A person who struggled with poor education may develop a passion for helping young people learn. Someone who experienced ineffective leadership may become determined to help organisations become better places to work. Another who has seen poverty may become driven to create economic opportunity, whilst someone else who has experienced failure may develop a desire to help others avoid the mistakes they once made.
Our experiences do not automatically determine our purpose. However, they can influence the questions we become passionate about answering. Sometimes the thing that frustrated you becomes the thing you are determined to change. It may be that the pain you experienced becomes the source of compassion. Also, the opportunity you were given creates a desire to give that opportunity to others.
The story of your life may contain more clues about your dream than you realise.
A dream is not necessarily about you alone
This is an important part of the Dream and Achieve philosophy.
A dream can begin within an individual, but meaningful achievement often extends beyond the individual.
Consider a teacher. The teacher may have a personal dream of becoming an excellent educator. But that dream connects with the dreams of the students whose lives are changed by the education they receive.
What about an entrepreneur? The entrepreneur may dream of building a successful company. That company may provide employment, solve problems for customers, develop people and create opportunities for others.
And a scientist? They may dream of making a discovery. And the significance of that discovery may ultimately lie in how it improves human life.
This is what I describe as the Dream Centre; it is the point at which our individual dreams connect with the dreams, needs and aspirations of other people.
Your dream does not have to exclude others in order to be yours. In fact, some of the most meaningful dreams are those in which personal fulfilment and contribution meet.
What if you still don’t know your dream?
Do not panic. Not knowing does not mean there is nothing within you. It may simply mean that you have not spent enough time listening, reflecting and exploring.
We live in a world that encourages constant activity… Do more | Move faster | Achieve more | Stay busy
Discovering your dream, however, sometimes requires the opposite… Pause | Think | Observe yourself | Ask questions | Try things
Pay attention to what energises you and what drains you. Take notice of the attention you pay to the problems that seem to recur around you. Take cognisance of the kind of difference you would like to make.
Give yourself permission to discover what is around you. Your dream may become clearer through action as much as through reflection. You may start with one idea, pursue it and you may discover something else along the way. That is not failure; it is discovery.
Do not confuse purpose with a perfect plan
Discovering your purpose does not mean that you suddenly know exactly what the next twenty years of your life will look like. Life does not work that way.
Purpose can provide direction without providing a complete map. You may know the difference you want to make without knowing precisely how you will make it. That is perfectly acceptable.
The next step is not to demand certainty; it is to begin. Your dream may become clearer through action as much as through reflection. You may start with one idea, pursue it and discover something else along the way.
That is not failure, but discovery. And this brings us back to the journey I described in my earlier reflection: Dream → Think → Act → Achieve.
The first step is to acknowledge the dream. The next is to think about what it means, what it might require and how it could become possible. You do not need to have the entire journey mapped out before you take the first step.
You simply need to be honest enough to recognise the dream, courageous enough to acknowledge it, and willing enough to begin. Sometimes the greatest obstacle to achievement is not the absence of opportunity – it is never giving the dream within you permission to begin.
A question for reflection
What dream have you carried within you that you have not yet given yourself permission to pursue? And if you have begun pursuing it, what has the journey taught you?
I would be interested in hearing your experience.
ABOUT KOLA OLUTIMEHIN
Kola Olutimehin (getKOLA) is a Business Excellence Consultant who helps organisations achieve operational excellence through effective leadership, employee engagement, continuous improvement and organisational transformation.
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Kola Olutimehin is a Business Excellence Consultant, who assists organisations in the achievement of operational excellence. He is a Director with the International Lean Six Sigma Institute (ILSSI), the David Hutchins International Quality College (DHIQC), and the Global Excellence Team (GET).
The International Lean Six Sigma Institute (ILSSI) is one of the leading international Lean Six Sigma professional and certification organisations, recognised globally. Kola’s involvement with ILSSI, DHIQC and GET reflects his continuing work in business excellence, operational excellence, quality and continuous improvement.